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Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before Important Conversations

Article •  5 - 8 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes

What's my intention? What needs am I trying to meet? What do I want the other person to know or understand? How can I say it in a way they are most likely to hear? These are four questions we can use in preparation for an important conversation. Read on for more on this, plus four accompanying practices.


Honor Your Need to be Heard

Article •  2-3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
2-3 minutes

When you want to be heard, first check if your listener is available. This honors yourself, and the other person’s choice about listening. You need to be clear about wanting a particular quality of listening, and that you are willing to wait if that isn’t available in the moment. Read on for how to ask for listening in a way that can build trust that your request isn't a demand.


Overcoming Defensiveness

Article •  5 - 7 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
5 - 7 minutes

A big part of why receiving feedback is so challenging is because so few people around us know how to give feedback untainted with criticism, judgment, or our personal upset. But, if we wait for others to offer us usable, digestible, manageable feedback, we will not likely receive sufficient feedback for our growth and learning. Instead, we can grow in our capacity to fish the pearl that’s buried within. Here are three specific suggestions for how.


Learning How to Listen

Article •  3 - 5 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
3 - 5 minutes

Listening is a cornerstone of dialogue and a powerful metaphor for spiritual practice. When we’re willing and able to listen, we open a conduit that allows connection and understanding to happen.


The Gift of Compassionate Giving

with Jim Manske
Article •  5 - 8 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes

What would the world be like if there was flow between all of us based on "mutual giving from the heart"? Using examples, this article offers models for us to follow that could inspire us to treat our NVC practice as one of compassionate giving and receiving.


Compassion: Mature, Astute & Courageous

Article •  10 - 15 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
10 - 15 minutes

Getting "feel good" empathy can become an addiction. Even to the point of seeing people who don't offer empathy as "not being NVC". Rachelle urges us to notice how this view of NVC can be seductive, and even dangerous. In this article, she explains how we can expand our compassionate awareness when we go beyond equating NVC with harmony and empathy. She asks us to become more open to noticing others' experiences even if it challenges our personal and collective belief systems -- and especially when it upsets us to consider it.


How to Ask for Responsiveness

Article •  3-5 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3-5 minutes

If it's a tender topic and/or you are looking for a particular level of responsiveness, you can let listeners know what you want back before you share -- or you can ask them for a particular kind of response right after you share. The more you can do this, the more it can create supportive relationships in your life. Read on for ways to ask for a particular kind of responsiveness to meet particular needs.


An Invitation to Resonance: The Practice of Nonviolent Communication

Article •  10 - 15 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
10 - 15 minutes

Sometimes there are moments when empathy has no effect at all on one another.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our nervous system and relationship with others.


What Makes NVC Hard?

Article •  3 - 5 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes

Sometimes there are moments when empathy has no effect at all on one another.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains maybe less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our nervous system and relationship to others...