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In the Spotlight: Anger

NVC and Parenting"Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you understand what you need and what you value." - Marshall Rosenberg, PhD.

"Anger is a signal that you’re distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored."  - Marshall Rosenberg, PhD.
Quotes by PuddleDancer Press. 

In this month Spotlight, you will find a selection of videos, audios and articles about anger, its importance, how to deal with your own anger and someone else's. You can start with the featured video of Arnina Kashtan "I Want to Leave When Facing Anger" as she provides a strategy for staying in the conversation when facing anger instead of physically leaving.

Mourning Our Way to Acceptance

Article •  7 - 11 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
7 - 11 minutes

When something happens that we don't like no amount of resentment nor magical thinking will make it disappear. Instead, we can mourn to dissolve our own resistance, resentment, and numbness of resignation. Mourning can allow us to feel pain with acceptance, and without needing to be okay with what happened. Acceptance can bring us to a place where even all the anguish in the world is fully, part of life.


Working with Resistance

Article •  4 - 6 minutes • 
All Skill Levels
Article
4 - 6 minutes

With coaching or counselling clients, their resistance can show up as “bracing against” something. But if we push back against their resistance, we miss noticing what they're protecting or embracing. By going into resistance clients build awareness and often shift when they get clear about their underlying needs, and new choices. Some clients don’t shift even after we’ve tried everything. In that case, read on to learn about Frank Farrelly's "provocative therapy".


Pain Lasers and Love Lasers

Article •  5 - 7 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 7 minutes

In lasers, light bounces between the mirrors, with each pass the light grows more intense. Our minds work similarly. Because of the "mirror" effect, where we can react to our reactions to our reactions to our reactions (and so on), changing our thought pattern even modestly at every level of reaction, can dramatically affect our ultimate experience.  Usually the greatest amplifiers are the ones we notice the least.  Learn what to notice -- to amplify more love rather than pain.


The Ultimate Romance

Article •  6 - 9 minutes • 
All Skill Levels
Article
6 - 9 minutes

For the ultimate romance to unfold, as an expression of your care for how your words and actions affect others, prioritize digging into your inner work before addressing conflict with them.  This means doing the inner work necessary to get to the root of the issue, which can bring bigger shifts, more aliveness, love, creativity, inspiration and compassion.  This doesn't mean letting the other person get away with unhealthy behaviour.


What is the Shadow?

Article •  4 - 6 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes

What parts of yourself or others are hard to embrace, understand or even notice?  What parts do others have difficulty embracing, understanding or noticing?  Why do we condemn, loathe, hate, deny, judge, blame or feel shame around certain needs, feelings and parts of self and/or others? This article talks about the hidden parts of ourselves and others that shapes views and behaviours.


Compassion: Mature, Astute & Courageous

Article •  10 - 15 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
10 - 15 minutes

Getting "feel good" empathy can become an addiction. Even to the point of seeing people who don't offer empathy as "not being NVC". Rachelle urges us to notice how this view of NVC can be seductive, and even dangerous. In this article, she explains how we can expand our compassionate awareness when we go beyond equating NVC with harmony and empathy. She asks us to become more open to noticing others' experiences even if it challenges our personal and collective belief systems -- and especially when it upsets us to consider it.


Grief and Mourning for the World

Article •  5-7 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5-7 minutes

As you witness injustices in the world, tension, anger, hopelessness, despair and more, may rise up in you. These feelings may lead to reactive thinking that doesn't contribute to healing nor wise action. Mourning is a universal need. If your culture pushed away grief and its emotional expression, you may have habits that block your access to the aliveness of grief. Read on for ways to give grief the space and support it needs.


Integration of Inner and Outer: Our Relationship to ALL of Life (5 Session Course)

Audio •  6 - 9 hours • 
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
6 - 9 hours

During this course, you'll deeply examine this process of blending and integrating your inner and outer selves. Not only will you explore various states of being, such as defensive / protective and being / essence, you'll delve into the primary levels of relationship: to others, to the world and to life,  acquire tools for transforming resistance into unconditional acceptance, and much more.


Prepare for Love (12 Session Course)

Audio •  9 hours, 7 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
9 hours, 7 minutes

Join Eric Bowers in transforming past relationship pain, coming alive in community and creating thriving relationships. This 12 session Telecourse recording brings together Eric's passions for Nonviolent Communication, Attachment Theory and Interpersonal Neurobiology.


From Suffering to Aliveness: Not Fighting Reality

Audio •  26 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
26 minutes

How we relate to life parallels how we relate to others! Learn how to have a more healthy way of relating to situations and people when your needs are not being met. Bob Wentworth offers some wisdom on moving from suffering to aliveness through not fighting what is.


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