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EmpathyIn the Spotlight: Empathy


"Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing."
– Marshall Rosenberg, PhD

"I cannot say it enough. Most of us rarely feel truly heard and understood. Empathy, the simple act of hearing someone and focusing your attention on them, can be incredibly healing. Try to listen for the feelings and needs behind someone’s words. This isn’t always easy, but the results are remarkable."
– Mary Mackenzie

"With empathy we don't direct, we follow. Don't just do something, be there."
– Marshall Rosenberg, PhD 

During September, Empathy Hacking: The Art and Science of Empathy Guessing  with Dian Killian is freely available for all to listen to and enjoy. See just below.

Mourning Our Way to Acceptance

Article  • 7 - 11 minutes • 04/2013
Beginner Skill Level
Article
7 - 11 minutes

When something happens that we don't like no amount of resentment nor magical thinking will make it disappear. Instead, we can mourn to dissolve our own resistance, resentment, and numbness of resignation. Mourning can allow us to feel pain with acceptance, and without needing to be okay with what happened. Acceptance can bring us to a place where even all the anguish in the world is fully, part of life.


Working with Resistance

Article  • 4 - 6 minutes • 4/2011
All Skill Levels
Article
4 - 6 minutes

With coaching or counselling clients, their resistance can show up as “bracing against” something. But if we push back against their resistance, we miss noticing what they're protecting or embracing. By going into resistance clients build awareness and often shift when they get clear about their underlying needs, and new choices. Some clients don’t shift even after we’ve tried everything. In that case, read on to learn about Frank Farrelly's "provocative therapy".


Pain Lasers and Love Lasers

Article  • 5 - 7 minutes • 8/2016
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 7 minutes

In lasers, light bounces between the mirrors, with each pass the light grows more intense. Our minds work similarly. Because of the "mirror" effect, where we can react to our reactions to our reactions to our reactions (and so on), changing our thought pattern even modestly at every level of reaction, can dramatically affect our ultimate experience.  Usually the greatest amplifiers are the ones we notice the least.  Learn what to notice -- to amplify more love rather than pain.


The Ultimate Romance

Article  • 6 - 9 minutes • 01/2018
All Skill Levels
Article
6 - 9 minutes

For the ultimate romance to unfold, as an expression of your care for how your words and actions affect others, prioritize digging into your inner work before addressing conflict with them.  This means doing the inner work necessary to get to the root of the issue, which can bring bigger shifts, more aliveness, love, creativity, inspiration and compassion.  This doesn't mean letting the other person get away with unhealthy behaviour.


What is the Shadow?

Article  • 4 - 6 minutes • 01/2018
Beginner Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes

What parts of yourself or others are hard to embrace, understand or even notice?  What parts do others have difficulty embracing, understanding or noticing?  Why do we condemn, loathe, hate, deny, judge, blame or feel shame around certain needs, feelings and parts of self and/or others? This article talks about the hidden parts of ourselves and others that shapes views and behaviours.


Compassion: Mature, Astute & Courageous

Article  • 10 - 15 minutes • 03/2018
Beginner Skill Level
Article
10 - 15 minutes

Getting "feel good" empathy can become an addiction. Even to the point of seeing people who don't offer empathy as "not being NVC". Rachelle urges us to notice how this view of NVC can be seductive, and even dangerous. In this article, she explains how we can expand our compassionate awareness when we go beyond equating NVC with harmony and empathy. She asks us to become more open to noticing others' experiences even if it challenges our personal and collective belief systems -- and especially when it upsets us to consider it.


Grief and Mourning for the World

Article  • 5-7 minutes • 10/2020
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5-7 minutes

As you witness injustices in the world, tension, anger, hopelessness, despair and more, may rise up in you. These feelings may lead to reactive thinking that doesn't contribute to healing nor wise action. Mourning is a universal need. If your culture pushed away grief and its emotional expression, you may have habits that block your access to the aliveness of grief. Read on for ways to give grief the space and support it needs.


Prepare for Love (12 Session Course)

Audio  • 9 hours, 7 minutes • 10/18/2012
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
9 hours, 7 minutes

Join Eric Bowers in transforming past relationship pain, coming alive in community and creating thriving relationships. This 12 session Telecourse recording brings together Eric's passions for Nonviolent Communication, Attachment Theory and Interpersonal Neurobiology.


From Suffering to Aliveness: Not Fighting Reality

Audio  • 26 minutes • 08/16/2014
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
26 minutes

How we relate to life parallels how we relate to others! Learn how to have a more healthy way of relating to situations and people when your needs are not being met. Bob Wentworth offers some wisdom on moving from suffering to aliveness through not fighting what is.


Motivation Through Joy

Trainer Tip  • 1-2 minutes • 10/2005
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
Pay attention to when you're motivated by guilt, duty, obligation, shame, and worry. How do you feel? Does it bring up resentment, rebellion, submission, reactivity or resistance? When you're motivated by joy notice how that feels, and how others respond. Read on for a related story.

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