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In this Life Hack, we're going deeper into self-empathy with a simple guided reflection that you can work through. This will be followed by a short exercise with a fill-in sheet led by Gesine and is something you can come back to as you wish.

Welcome to Part Two of our 3 part Embodied NVC Life Hack series. Last time we looked at rewiring your brain to navigate our primitive mind and sometimes default reactions such as fight, flight or freeze when faced with conflict. In this episode, we're going beyond self-empathy and looking at ways we can empathize with the other person.

When we're faced with certain situations we tend to go into a fight, flight or freeze mode. While these can sometimes be helpful and even lifesaving, they can also be crippling when the situation may not be life-threatening. In this episode, we give you some tips on how to shift into a more intentional way of handling difficult situations.

When was the last time you were in a situation with an overwhelming feeling of shame or an unnerving fear of 'doing it wrong'? Sometimes we get sweaty palms or a dry mouth, maybe we freeze on the spot or start an unhelpful internal monologue that makes the situation feel even worse. In this months NVC Life Hack Gesine takes a closer look at her own experience with shame and the fear of doing it...

We all know what it’s like to be on the end of feedback that we receive as clumsy, unbalanced or even spiteful. We don’t have any control over the skill level of people who give us feedback, or their motivations. So how do we receive feedback without taking it personally, in a way that we can learn from it?

In this Life Hack, we take a closer look at 'values-based' feedback and give you 7 practical tips that will help you provide useful feedback.

Giving feedback can be a difficult task, sometimes we try to avoid getting to the point and instead end up spending a long time attempting to communicate. We find there are mostly two types of feedback. The first focuses on what is wrong with the person's behaviour and tends to feel more judgemental whereas the second is values-based feedback, focusing on the needs of the people involved.

Do you just keep going with a task, even if your body is screaming for a pause? Maybe you leave tasks incomplete because you can't finish them the way you want? Do you not even attempt some tasks because you know that you won't be able to do them perfectly? In short, are you a perfectionist? In this Life Hack, we look at 5 tips to help any recovering perfectionists.

It's normal for us to keep something inside, avoiding sharing it with someone else as the risk may feel too high. Maybe they will reject me, or be offended and not speak to me again? It can be difficult to know when to share your truth and when to keep it inside. In this episode we layout some useful strategies that will help you speak your truth, while still keeping the connection.

Nonviolent Communication at its core is about the quality of connection that will lead to everybody's needs being met. In this months 'Purpose of NVC' episode, we ask ourselves five questions that help us gain an awareness of where Nonviolent Communication is being used.

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Article

4 - 6 minutes

In listening to what our emotions tell us, and embracing what we do not know, we begin the path of courage. Even though our culture tells us not to, revealing our imperfections is where we can deeply connect. Living our lives more courageously honest, can shift us towards inspiring one another. Read on for how some people experienced this in coming together to transform one woman's heroine...

This exercise explains four stages of the "Need Cycle": Fulfilled, Emerging, Urgent, Satisfying. It asks us to consider, connect and identify needs, feelings and where we are in the Need Cycle. Then it prompts us to remain mindful of the need for sustenance as we move through the cycle, noticing the subtle shifts in your physical sensations and emotions.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Here's a five-step 30 day practice to cultivate gratitude, using the practice of observations, needs, feelings, presence, vitality, awareness of contribution, sharing power and interdependence.

What can we do to bring vitality and resourcefulness back into our lives when we are feeling overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, or frustrated? Read on for a nine step process.

Here's a four step exercise applying a needs-based approach to effective goals, habits and New Year's Resolutions.

During the holiday season we may find ourselves taking responsibility for other's feelings, which can lead to guilt, shame, depression, and resentment. These feelings are exacerbated by the habitual pattern we call the "Vortex of Submission" (being hooked by a sense of duty and obligation). Read on for ways to recognize and break the pattern.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Love can be both a feeling and a need in Nonviolent Communication. It can be seen as a need if we do something to meet our need for love. We can also experience love as a feeling, just as warmth, affection, and excitement are feelings. Often, but not always, we can feel love and meet our need for love at the same time.

Trainer Tip: Notice if something within your agency will bring you the serenity you want. If not, then notice the needs you are trying to meet by wanting to take that action. Then then choose another action that's more likely to have the desired effect.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: We have four choices of how to respond to someone, even when they say things that are hard to hear. We can blame the speaker, blame ourselves, we can self empathize by acknowledging our feelings and needs, or we can empathize with the other person's feelings and needs. Be aware of these options and consciously make your choice based on the needs you want to meet.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: In challenging situations, we can be peaceful and clear when we are able to connect to what we value most, and to act in harmony with those values. For example, if a coworker does something you don't like, instead of gossiping about their undesirable behaviors, you can talk to them about how both of you feel regarding what happened, and focus on the needs you're both trying to meet...