Library Resources with request

Many believe it's only a true NVC request when we can ask for what we need without urgency or insistence. But what if we're the target of oppression and hate in a world with systemic inequality? Is it still nonviolence to abdicate power by allowing the person enacting harm to be the one to decide whether harm continues? The intensity of the need, degree of harm, and how chronically unmet the need is, are factors to guide us for when to apply force and demand within NVC. We can be attached to outcome, without being attached to strategy.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 5 - 8 minutes
  • Production Date 11/2020
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles
Here are some very basic forms and distinctions of NVC. It covers the 4 D's, OFNR, some NVC distinctions, tips, quotes from Marshall Rosenberg, and "feelings and needs" lists, and more. As with any art, these rudiments necessarily must be learned, practiced, understood, embodied and then let go of so as not to become rote and block creativity.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration Read Time: 4 - 6 minutes
  • Production Date 07/2017
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 7
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

When we ask something of a person and threaten negative repercussions if she doesn’t comply, we're making a demand. Demands limit the possible responses and reduce joyful participation. Instead, look to find mutually satisfying resolutions. And look for ways to change your demand into a request. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Introductory Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
If it's a tender topic and/or you are looking for a particular level of responsiveness, you can let listeners know what you want back before you share -- or you can ask them for a particular kind of response right after you share. The more you can do this, the more it can create supportive relationships in your life. Read on for ways to ask for a particular kind of responsiveness to meet particular needs.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 3-5 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Trainer tip: Demands are more likely to limit the possibilities and create distance between people. The trick to asking something as a request is valuing everyone’s needs equally. When you value everyone’s needs equally, then you are more willing to come to solutions that satisfy everyone. It thus opens possibilities and helps build connection.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 2 - 3 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips

Trainer tip: NVC focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will -- plus avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. For today, focus on making observations without moralistic judgment in at least two of your interactions.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Introductory Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
When you want to be heard, first check if your listener is available. This honors yourself, and the other person’s choice about listening. You need to be clear about wanting a particular quality of listening, and that you are willing to wait if that isn’t available in the moment. Read on for how to ask for listening in a way that can build trust that your request isn't a demand.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 2-3 minutes
  • Production Date 04/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Here are two practices for connecting with "request energy". One of them helps us practice in the moment (7 steps). The other one helps us connect to ourselves (11 steps).

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 3 - 5 minutes
  • Production Date 1/2020
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
Tolerating reactivity, name-calling, blaming, guilt-tripping, or stonewalling can lead to resentment and hurt. Plus, the more you stay in a reactive dynamic, the more you are likely to reinforce the pattern. Setting life-serving boundaries arund reactivity is about letting another know that you aren’t going to participate in that kinds of dynamics. This means knowing what helps with handling difficulties and asking for that.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration Read time: 4-6 minutes
  • Production Date 12/2019
  • Premium Members N/A
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Articles

Trainer Tip: If you make a specific and doable request as soon as you notice your needs, you'll have a better possibility of getting them met. It's also more likely your request will support the other person to contribute to your life. Make at least one specific, doable request of someone today as soon as you notice your needs.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Production Date 10/2005
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1
Published in Trainer Tips
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