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NVC Resources on Attention


Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before Important Conversations

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 
Article
5 - 8 minutes
What's my intention? What needs am I trying to meet? What do I want the other person to know or understand? How can I say it in a way they are most likely to hear? These are four questions we can use in preparation for an important conversation. Read on for more on this, plus four accompanying practices.

To Vaccinate or Not to Vaccinate - How to Connect With What Matters

Article • 8 - 12 minutes • 
Article
8 - 12 minutes
To help you stay connected to yourself and the other person when in challenging discussions about COVID-19 vaccines or other hot issues, without labeling others as reactive or otherwise, you can begin by tracking signs of your own reactivity to bring mindfulness onboard, then shifting your attention to universal needs; and asking to connect about it later. Read on for more.

Standing in Your Truth and Setting Boundaries

Article • 8-12 minutes • 
Article
8-12 minutes
Unhook from a reactive dynamic, by staying with your needs and requests, and release attachment to outcome. Start by shifting your attention from the other person to get clear on what's true for you. Read on for strategies to transform reactivity, possible boundary setting behaviors, typical signs of escalation, and more.

Connecting with Spiritual Clarity

with Jim Manske
Article • 2 - 3 minutes • 
Article
2 - 3 minutes
We can cultivate spiritual clarity through bringing attention to our intentions, mourning, gratitude, and the dynamic flow of feelings and needs. This can bring more autonomy, choice and liberate the energy of connection and contribution. We can also awaken our hearts to see the reality that our well-being is mutually interdependent. Read on for more.

Heartbreak For Self And The World Holding Our Broken Hearts With Compassion

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 
Article
3 - 5 minutes
When we're received with resonant understanding painful moments can lessen their charge and became part of the whole tapestry of life -- important but no longer able to hijack us into the eternal re-run of pain. When held this way, we can touch the memories with our attention the way one touches a newly repaired tooth with the tongue, searching for the old roughness, the old wound, but not...

Can the Social Order Be Transformed Through Personal Practice? The Case of Nonviolent Communication - Part 1 of 2

Article • 15 - 23 minutes • 
Article
15 - 23 minutes
By focusing on NVC process and practice without factoring in the interdependent, systemic dimension we unwittingly diminish the power of NVC. We reinforce the dominant paradigm, rather than challenging it -- making NVC one more tool for compliance. NVC principles can turn against its own purpose in cruel ways. NVC could also empower social change. We'll need our attention on this matter if we...

Contemplative Practice For Spiritual Insight

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 
Article
3 - 5 minutes
A structured and clear contemplative practice can start with calming the body, heart, and mind for 20 minutes. Next, it contains at least three key elements: body awareness, clarifying what you already know, and consistent sustained attention. Celebrate and note insights, or any expanded perspective that pops into your awareness. Set an intention to notice these things in daily life and to...

About Privilege...

Article • 8-12 minutes • 
Article
8-12 minutes
"Privilege" has many meanings, which can bring confusion. Here are questions essential to navigating challenges in NVC community about "privilege": How to call attention to times when language is used to divide and not connect? Where are people coming from when they say "privilege"? How to focus on using whatever language supports the depth of connection we seek with the heart of the people in...

The Basics of Life-Serving Boundaries

Practice Exercise • 4 - 6 minutes • 
Practice Exercise
4 - 6 minutes
Setting boundaries takes being firmly grounded in self-respect and clear about what works for you. This means making conscious choices about how you relate to another or behave in a situation. Such clarity allows you to put your attention and energy where you want it to go. Thus we can have care and compassion without taking responsibility for others, nor feeling guilty when we say “no”. This...

How To Distinguish True Caring From Being Charmed

Article • 4-6 minutes • 
Article
4-6 minutes
The attention you enjoy may not be motivated by true caring for you. There are three key questions that can help you discern whether you are receiving care or charm: How does caring show up under duress? How are differences treated? How consistent is the ability to consider the impact of their behavior on others? Be mindful of your judgments and notice any patterns.

Empathy Hurdles

Article • 2 pages • 
Article
2 pages
I want to hear others through the lens of the meaning their actions have for them rather than through the effect their actions have on me. The very root of empathy resides in this fundamental shift. Whenever someone’s actions are at odds with our own needs, most of us, most of the time, do the latter. In that way, we keep our attention on ourselves rather than on the other person. We cannot be...

The Importance of Anger

Practice Exercise • 2 - 3 minutes • 
Practice Exercise
2 - 3 minutes
Anger matters because it can let you know that you perceive a threat to universal need for yourself or someone else. It can draw your attention to something so that you can take effective action. Anger becomes a hindrance when you amp it up with your thoughts about what should(n't) happen. Instead, notice any "should" thoughts, see anger as a signal, accept that it's okay to have it, and look...