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NVC Resources with Mary Mackenzie

Shooting For The Moon

Shooting For The Moon

Shooting For The Moon

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: In a Compassionate Communication process, we believe there are enough resources in the Universe to meet all of our needs. Most people are stumped because they can only see one strategy for meeting a need. Identify one need that you would like to experience more of and make a list of at least five strategies for meeting it today.

Living Our Values

Living Our Values

Living Our Values

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Sometimes I wish others would make it easy for me to live my values. If other people would just do their part, I wouldn’t have to work so hard at doing mine. Can you relate? However, if I support peace in the world, this means I act peacefully because it’s important to me, not because it’s important to others. Identify your most important value today. Then live it. Notice how...

Getting Started

Getting Started

Getting Started

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Identify one goal and take one small step toward achieving it today. It doesn’t matter how much or how often. The reward is in taking the first step, and then the second and third until you’ve attained your goal.

Considering Everyone’s Needs Brings Peace

Considering Everyone’s Needs Brings Peace

Considering Everyone’s Needs Brings Peace

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: We feel our freedom when we are willing to look at others’ needs and our own, evaluate all of them and work toward valuing everyone’s needs. Take the time to demonstrate that you value everyone’s needs as much as your own today.

Keeping Our Perspective

Keeping Our Perspective

Keeping Our Perspective

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: We all want to be valued in our totality, to be loved even when we make mistakes. Wouldn’t we also like to offer this to ourselves? Compassion is about seeing the humanness in everyone, including ourselves. One way to express compassion is to remember your entire relationship and history of love with someone as a whole, rather than focusing on one disappointing incident.

Letting Go of Resentments

Letting Go of Resentments

Letting Go of Resentments

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: When we feel resentment toward others, we are harming our own emotional health. Surprisingly, when we own up to our part of an uncomfortable situation, we can release the pain and resentment. Such honesty can provide healing. Read on for a related anecdote of how this can play out.

Celebrate Your Progress!

Celebrate Your Progress!

Celebrate Your Progress!

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Overwhelmed with all that you want to do? If so, what are you working to change? Is it a behavior or a consciousness? Where were you with this issue when you first decided to create change? And now where are you? Celebrating your progress can encourage you to keep trying. You wouldn’t expect to jump on a treadmill and jog three miles the first time. Don't have the same expectations...

Supporting Our Loved Ones In Living Authentically

Supporting Our Loved Ones In Living Authentically

Supporting Our Loved Ones In Living Authentically

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Sometimes the people in our lives don’t yet have the skills to speak directly about what they want. When this happens we can make guesses about how they feel and what they want. This can lead to greater connection and chances we all can be more satisfied with our interactions.

I Want To Connect More Than I Want To Be Right

I Want To Connect More Than I Want To Be Right

I Want To Connect More Than I Want To Be Right

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: We have a better chance of getting our needs met if we prioritize connecting with one another's needs more than being right. This way we can reduce the chances of conflict arising. We also increase the possibility we can find ways everyone’s needs can be met.

The Value of Change

The Value of Change

The Value of Change

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Wanting collaboration? Show you value the other person's needs as much as your own. After you both feel heard, you can make joint decisions about specifics of the agreement, such as "division of work", "scope of project", "when the action will take place", "how it'll be done" and "timing of follow up to see how things went". Read on for an example of how this is applied to asking...

When Hearing A “No”: Demanding Versus Persisting

When Hearing A “No”: Demanding Versus Persisting

When Hearing A “No”: Demanding Versus Persisting

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes •

Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Trainer Tip: When they say "no", acknowledge what people are saying "yes" to. From there, you persist towards a resolution that values both party's needs, without demand. Persisting is when we try to meet needs by continuing to connect with another. Demanding is when we insist someone do something, or else face negative repercussions. Showing care and willingness to work with people can help...

Facilitation and Transparency

Facilitation and Transparency

Facilitation and Transparency

with Mary Mackenzie

Video • 9 minutes •

Video
9 minutes

Transparency: when is it too much? Does it support connection, clarity and flow? Is being transparent supporting your needs, the group's needs, and the group's purpose for being together? Check out this thoughtful excerpt from Mary's 2020 course, Jump In Now. Good food for thought!

Focusing on Where We Are the Same

Focusing on Where We Are the Same

Focusing on Where We Are the Same

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Our differences are not in our needs, but in how we attempt to meet them. This simple truth can help you lessen the conflicts in your life and your judgments of other people. Rather than focus on where you disagree, focus on where you are the same. This shift can make a profound difference in your ability to understand yourself and other people, and to bring unity to your life.

You’re Not Too Much

You’re Not Too Much

You’re Not Too Much

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: We all have the same needs, but may prioritize different needs at different times -- and that order of prioritization may look different from other people's perspectives. If your prioritization of needs isn't the same as another's, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you nor them. We can look for many ways to meet our prioritized needs.

Meeting Our Need for Order

Meeting Our Need for Order

Meeting Our Need for Order

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Someone’s strategy for meeting needs may look different from yours, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t meeting them. This can happen when they appear to be messy and disorganized, but from their perspective they have it organized. It's just less apparent to you how they have organized it. Read on for a related anecdote.

Directness

Directness

Directness

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: We may communicate indirectly when we worry about hurting someone’s feelings. Instead, commit to being direct with compassion, love, honesty, and respect to both yourself and others. They may not enjoy what you say, but at least they'll know where you're coming from. Being true to yourself, you can be true to your relationships. And it can build trust.

Keeping The Focus On Ourselves

Keeping The Focus On Ourselves

Keeping The Focus On Ourselves

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Next time you prepare for a challenging conversation, solidly connect with your own feelings and needs before entering into meeting. Then attend the meeting open to creating results that work for everyone. This is likely to give increase chances that the conversation will come to a mutually satisfying conclusion.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Practice, Practice, Practice

Practice, Practice, Practice

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Practicing NVC in situations that are not emotionally charged can give you valuable practice to help you maintain a compassionate consciousness when circumstances are charged. It can help you stay in that consciousness for a longer period of time. You can also practice by naming the needs that you got met in the situations you enjoy.

Acting in Accordance With Our Values

Acting in Accordance With Our Values

Acting in Accordance With Our Values

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Your every action has an effect on other people’s lives. The nature of the impact may not be obvious to us, but that doesn’t diminish its presence. The next time you are tempted to snap at someone or cut in front of another driver, consider whether you’d like to be their story that evening. Consider whether this is the kind of contribution you’d like to make to their life.

The Timing of Making A Request

The Timing of Making A Request

The Timing of Making A Request

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

It's important to make requests specific and doable. Also, without a swift request immediately after we state our observation, feeling, and need in regard to the situation, the other person is left guessing what we want. Instead, a swift request can bring clarity and lessen the potential for the listener to become defensive or argue.

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