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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: When we express moralistic judgments we are implying that other people are wrong or bad because they don’t act in ways that are in harmony with our values. Judging the situation or people can create distance and hurt. Instead, we can express our needs and how we're affected, bringing greater connection and healing. Today, notice how often you judge, and how you feel when you judge.

Some people in the NVC community consider the words "privilege" and "power" triggering and/or evaluative. From this perspective, how can the concepts of "privilege" and "power" be considered part of the NVC teaching? This writing piece examines the power and privilege debate. It also discusses what the author sees as Marshall Rosenberg and Gandhi's stance on the subject...

There's a danger in using empathy exchange to perpetually recirculate and exchange pain (often by telling and re-telling the same old stories), rather than using it as a catalyst for transformation. It can create and further pain in whatever form: anger, destructiveness, hatred, grief, emotional drama, and violence. It can also reinforce dualistic evaluations of "met" vs "unmet" needs. And it...

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Practice Exercise

1 - 2 minutes

Self responsibility is owning what's yours. It involves identifying your observations, evaluations, feelings, longings, and more. When we identify what's truly ours we are unlikely to mistake it as coming from outside of us. Self responsibility is not self blame. Without self responsibility, we project, blame and judge. Self-responsibility is central to clarity and full self-awareness. This...

Praise may disconnect us from our own confidence, intrinsic motivation, or discernment. It may lead to perfectionism, people pleasing, codependency, a tendency to criticize others or fix others, and more. Instead, without evaluative words we can sincerely share what we specifically liked about what they did, and what needs were met for us.

According to this article, what we do before we move into the NVC dance profoundly influences the outcome and everyone involved. This "before" step increases the likelihood of living compassionately, and our support openness to outcome. It can also make our NVC practice less connecting, and more evaluative. The article addresses these points and talks about ways to move beyond the dead past,...

Trainer Tip: We feel our freedom when we are willing to look at others’ needs and our own, evaluate all of them and work toward valuing everyone’s needs. Take the time to demonstrate that you value everyone’s needs as much as your own today.

Ask the Trainer: "I have the understanding that the unconscious is vast compared to conscious mind. When I state 'needs' how well can I depend on there being something beneath my awareness that is actually the motivation?"

Trainer Tip: You may find yourself assessing the relationship with someone just based on how they feel. Check in with yourself: How do you feel and what needs of yours are met when you spend time with someone? Consider whether this relationship is working for you. If it isn’t, be specific about which of your needs are unmet. Notice if you can do anything to help meet them.

This 5-session telecourse recording is designed to support you in learning what makes giving and receiving feedback challenging and how you can turn these experiences into opportunities for learning, connection, and effective functioning.

We can see anger as an alarm or signal that can inform us that unmet needs require attention, or that we hold judgements. We can shift our own anger in several healthy ways: get present, identify the stimulus and any judgements or unmet needs, look for ways to meet our needs, make requests that support our needs, express our needs to ourselves and appropriate others, and more.

Inbal offers parents and anyone with children in their life a lucid discussion of the important role self-empathy plays in creating healthy, supportive relationships.

When we take a leap in life and put our hearts out into the world in new or bigger ways—sharing a song, dance, or poem, writing a book, competing at a sporting event, giving a speech, and so on—there is greater potential for aliveness but also for shame and pain

Veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, Sylvia Haskvitz, reviews the key distinctions (sometimes referred to as the key differentiations) in Nonviolent Communication.

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Audio

1 hour, 16 minutes

In this prerecorded telecourse, Raj Gil uses an interactive dialogue and proven exercises to help you develop a profoundly healthy response to anger, right in the moment.

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Trainer Tip

2 - 3 minutes

An exploration of four types of feedback: destructive criticism, constructive criticism, feedback by demonstration and dialogue.

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Trainer Tip

3 - 5 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "At one point in my practice, it was brought to my attention that some people find the use of 'formal NVC' off-putting, or mechanical. Do you have any input or insight into this?"

How we treat ourselves when we fall short of our own ideals, desires and hopes can profoundly affect the quality of our lives. Learn how to identify your triggers and reactions, to mourn falling short, and to practice self-connection and self-empathy.

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Practice Exercise

00:26 hours:minutes

John Kinyon leads participants through two Observation Exercises to strengthen their ability to be present. Through the exercises, John distinguishes the difference between feelings, which are emotions felt inside the body, and observations which are witness to our experience.

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Article

5 - 7 minutes

By guessing our child's feelings and needs we open the door to understanding what's behind their behavior, and can better suggest solutions that meet both their and our own needs. In this way we build trust and their desire to seek us out in times of need. Expressing our own feelings and needs also allows us to help them understand the value in fulfilling tasks or requests.