Trainer Tip: When we are authentic about who we are, and our preferences, we give everyone and ourselves a better opportunity to open up dialogue about how to meet our collective needs better. We simply express our truth, and in that way we value our own needs as much as those of others.

Trainer Tip: People’s choice of words may be difficult to hear. In fact, we may feel downright aggravated by them. Whether we enjoy these statements or not, we can begin to recognize that behind each statement is a desire to meet needs, either by saying please or thank you. In this way, we are more likely to feel compassion because we have connected to their humanness. Listen for the please or...

Through your dialogues at home, where the stakes are often very high, you can increase your ability to meet the challenges of life everywhere with empathy, goodwill and authenticity. Please listen to this inspiring recorded telecourse with Miki Kashtan and learn how!

Trainer Tip: Mourning enables us to heal the pain and gain clarity about how to meet our needs in the present moment.

How we treat ourselves when we fall short of our own ideals, desires and hopes can profoundly affect the quality of our lives. Learn how to identify your triggers and reactions, to mourn falling short, and to practice self-connection and self-empathy.

Trainer Tip: When you make a request of someone, you don't diminish your relationship; you enhance it. If you receive a "no" to your request, consider brainstorming a different strategy that would meet your needs. It isn’t a sign of weakness to clarify what you would like. It helps you commit to living a full and joyful life. Look for opportunities to clarify your requests.

Trainer Tip: It can be painful spending our days pretending we’re not who we are. For example, we may try not to be passionate in our expression because if we think its “too much” for people. This can lead to trying to figuratively to squeeze ourselves into small spaces in life. Alternatively, we can choose who to share our passion with, and speak our truth to. Today, notice what you need and...

Trainer Tip: In challenging situations, we can be peaceful and clear when we are able to connect to what we value most, and to act in harmony with those values. For example, if a coworker does something you don't like, instead of gossiping about their undesirable behaviors, you can talk to them about how both of you feel regarding what happened, and focus on the needs you're both trying to meet...

Trainer Tip: Notice if something within your agency will bring you the serenity you want. If not, then notice the needs you are trying to meet by wanting to take that action. Then then choose another action that's more likely to have the desired effect.

Trainer Tip: We have four choices of how to respond to someone, even when they say things that are hard to hear. We can blame the speaker, blame ourselves, we can self empathize by acknowledging our feelings and needs, or we can empathize with the other person's feelings and needs. Be aware of these options and consciously make your choice based on the needs you want to meet.

Ask the Trainer: "A participant in our beginners' NVC practice group asked the co-facilitators if there was a confidentiality agreement that was typically used in NVC practice groups?"

If it's a tender topic and/or you are looking for a particular level of responsiveness, you can let listeners know what you want back before you share -- or you can ask them for a particular kind of response right after you share. The more you can do this, the more it can create supportive relationships in your life. Read on for ways to ask for a particular kind of responsiveness to meet...

The ability to identify your needs and take effective action to meet them is one way to define agency. Access to agency is complex and varies widely from person to person. Access to agency depends upon a variety of conditions. For example, if you struggle with agency, shame may tell you that you're broken in some way. If agency comes easily in an area, then you may view others who struggle with...

In pandemic many are asked to stay home. If we are experiencing violence at home we're also most at risk of harm or death if we leave. There are also less visible pieces at work. In this situation, acknowledging our pain, needs and experience can lighten the internal load to meet what is real, and claim our truth. We can do the same for our kids. This can open more pathways forward, and provide...

Interrupt cycles of conflict by creating a new ways forward. You can do this by connecting with the energy of the met needs you want in the dynamic; guessing the other person's needs; naming your needs; asking essential questions; identifying at least three different strategies to meet each need; and imagining the positive outcome.

Without self-acceptance any attempt at growth and transformation, even while parenting, can easily become a path to self-judgments and another yardstick against which to measure ourselves as falling short. Instead, we can practice 1 minute a day or more, or while doing other tasks, to develop the self-compassion and self-acceptance needed to grow both new habits and our capacity to meet our...

Trainer Tip: We all have the same needs, but may prioritize different needs at different times -- and that order of prioritization may look different from other people's perspectives. If your prioritization of needs isn't the same as another's, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you nor them. We can look for many ways to meet our prioritized needs.

Physical distancing is opportunity to creatively to meet your needs in new ways. In this containment, with very few cues from others and the environment you now have a rare opportunity with less external distraction to rethink what's truly supportive -- and make significant changes to the less noticable habits of mind, standards and "should's". Applying questions and noticing certain symptoms...

Attraction to others is neither good nor bad. Although it's pleasurable it doesn’t necessarily help with wise discernment. When it arises, it's up to you to engage in wise discernment about how you manage it. This guide provides practices and points of focus to engage your own attraction in a way that holds more choice about what will meet needs for yourself and others, and what role attraction...

This handout defines and contrasts "empathy" alongside "responses may meet needs, but are not empathy" (such as advice, correcting, consoling, etc).