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New NVC Library
Learning Resources

New NVC Library
Learning Resources

Gender Through the Lens of IPNB plus Empathy

Article  • 4 - 6 minutes • 10/2011
All Skill Levels
Article
4 - 6 minutes

Our pattern-making minds make predictions about how best to survive in the world. So deep wounds from our past can influence our minds to make life long generalizations that harden into core beliefs about groups of people. Read on for a demonstration of how empathy can shift these wounds and thus the core beliefs.


Trauma and Sanctuary

Article  • 3 - 5 minutes • 11/2009
All Skill Levels
Article
3 - 5 minutes

One clue we have trauma is when we respond in a way we don't want (eg. being reactive, self sabotaging, etc). Even when we have high level NVC skills our trauma-related mechanisms can activate, and we can lose access to well honed NVC skills. Read on for approaches that involve healing trauma, and approaches that involve managing the effects of trauma and preventing additional trauma.


Simple Interventions for Chronic Reactivity

Article  • 6-9 minutes • 2/2018
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
6-9 minutes

For each reactive pattern there is a perceived threat to a tender need. Knowing these tender needs helps us figure out how to interrupt these patterns and creating new ways of perceiving and relating to life. In addition to knowing the need, knowing the healing response and the primary reactive behavior helps with transformation.


What the World Needs

Article  • 4 - 6 minutes • 11/2008
Beginner Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes

In this written transcript of a live presentation, Inbal Kashtan shares how she first became aware of poverty. She explains how empathy is a vital and powerful force for creating peace in our world today, and a powerful means of creating a world that works for all of us.


The Power of Silent Empathy

Article  • 1 page • Circa 2007
Beginner Skill Level
Article
1 page

When Rita first learned about silent empathy she didn't know how soon she'd try it out. She was visiting her daughter and making comments about her life, analyzing her behavior, giving her unsolicited view on everything.


Healing Addiction With Unconscious Contract Work

Article  • 5 - 8 minutes • 01/2020
All Skill Levels
Article
5 - 8 minutes

An addiction to something (eg. opioids, fats, sugars, salts, cigarettes, coffee, alcohol, etc.) or a compulsion (eg. gambling, shopping, working, sex or love addictions) is often an unconscious attempt to soothe trauma - fear, loneliness and shame that's frozen in unconscious memory. The addiction or compulsion is a substitute for what we really need. It is an endless craving that's never enough. Read on for more.


Healing From Betrayal

Article  • 5- 8 minutes • 07/2019
All Skill Levels
Article
5- 8 minutes

Repairing betrayal may include rebuilding self trust, getting support, empathy on both sides over time, and new agreements. Even though your (in)actions don't "cause" someone's behavior, acknowledging any part you played in creating conditions for the behaviors to arise, can support repair. Trust builds slowly as new skills, ways of relating and experiences that reflect honesty, self responsibility, and respect are consistent over time.


Grief and Mourning for the World

Article  • 5-7 minutes • 10/2020
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5-7 minutes

As you witness injustices in the world, tension, anger, hopelessness, despair and more, may rise up in you. These feelings may lead to reactive thinking that doesn't contribute to healing nor wise action. Mourning is a universal need. If your culture pushed away grief and its emotional expression, you may have habits that block your access to the aliveness of grief. Read on for ways to give grief the space and support it needs.


Heartbreak For Self And The World Holding Our Broken Hearts With Compassion

Article  • 3 - 5 minutes • 02/2012
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes

When we're received with resonant understanding painful moments can lessen their charge and became part of the whole tapestry of life -- important but no longer able to hijack us into the eternal re-run of pain. When held this way, we can touch the memories with our attention the way one touches a newly repaired tooth with the tongue, searching for the old roughness, the old wound, but not finding it.


Creating an Internal Secure Base

Article  • 5 - 8 minutes • 9/2018
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes

We each hold an internal model or set of expectations about how caring and comfort could be accessed in relationship. The ability to reflect upon and challenge our own dominant model of perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors --and to experience discomfort and vulnerability-- is a key feature of "security". If not, an "attachment reactivity" arises -- where sense of insecurity, separateness, and belief that love, and acceptance can't be trusted nor accessed reliably. Thus change would require intensive support. Here's a guide to help you reflect and access change.


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