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How to Meet Hurt and Pain From the Past

Article  • 2 - 4 minutes • 6/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
2 - 4 minutes

Past hurt and pain can get triggered even when it doesn't have much to do with the present. When that happens we can gain perspective by self reflecting, engaging self empathy, grounding an "anchor", noticing the present-moment safety, naming needs and making requests.


Beyond “Yes, And:” Acknowledging the “Oops” and “Ouches”

Article  • 3 - 5 minutes • 8/2014
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes

How can we respond when we’re horrified by what someone says? How can we deepen our connection to our humanness and authenticity when the impact is hurtful? Read on to see examples of the three steps of "calling out", "calling in", and "calling forth".


Expressing Our Pain Without Blame

Article  • 4 - 6 minutes • 08/2011
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes

The more we can stay present with our hurt, and own our interpretations, we are more likely to express what's important to us without blame and also to become resilient. From there, the listener can have more space to offer their full presence and empathy. Read on for more.


How to Express Feelings

Trainer Tip  • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: Feelings of hurt, anger, fear, and resentment can often sound alike. Fear and excitement have the same physiological effects on us, and are often expressed in the same body language. Clearly and specifically naming our emotions and the intensity level can help us resolve conflicts, with a much greater opportunity to get our needs met.