To resolve conflict, information of what's important to each party, plus corrections, needs to be included and built upon. Here we explore nine patterns of ongoing conflict, including diagnosis; assuming understanding; refuting; unhelpful communication mediums; over focus on intent over effect; and “hit-and-run” engagement. This is part one of a two part series.

The energy of the most private events of our lives (such as sex) can ripple out and affect everything we do, like the ripples of a rock thrown in a pond. Instead of segregating -or sometimes denying- parts of ourselves, we can bring our blind spots and our shadows in self and relationships into the light. Having growth in a private life can transfer onto other areas of life.

Trainer Tip: The world’s people are consuming more of earth's resources at an astronomical speed. This is a form of violence, of not valuing everyone’s needs. Respect and support everything that lives, including yourself. How you can take less from earth’s resources and replenish more so that earth can flourish? Even if its small, take action today to support earth’s sustainability.

Trainer Tip: When we have no hope of a conversation working out, our attitude towards the situation can contribute to our lack of success. Instead, start conversations that might be challenging with the intention of success. This can shift the energy immediately toward it. This doesn’t guarantee success, but can increase its chances.

In thinking about your relationship with fear and doubt, see what happens when you ask yourself "What do you trust?”. Here's an example response to that question, and how it can open new perspective, soften fear, and bring trust to new depths.

Trainer Tip: Meetings can be unproductive when the participants aren’t clear about their needs or what they want from the group. When participants express opinions without expressing a need or informing the group of what they want, the meeting lacks clarity. Instead, if we can focus on naming our needs and make related requests, we can get closer to resolution much faster and enjoy the process...

So often we're habituated to associate a “why” question with being reproached, blamed or shamed – and so defensiveness arises. However, in order to maintain a flow of understanding and collaboration, we need to hear and say the “why” while finding other ways to ask for it. Here we look at how to ask questions that bring each of us vital information that can open up discovery and learning, for...

Some things may seem to take longer at first, but end up making things easier and faster. Other things seem easier or faster in the short term, but end up taking more time in the long run. This applies to projects, group agreements about process, relationships, addressing conflicts, clearing up misunderstandings, damage control, etc. It can be faster to slow down, be more present, and take the...

Our everyday personal experiences of diminishment, and the destruction of our planet has a through-line. Societal traumas lead to us shutting down to avoid pain, and this limits us. The avoidance shifts our brains so we don’t see other beings, species and our planet as wondrous, precious and irreplaceable. Thus, we meet others with diminishment, oblivion, or abuse; trauma keeps passing on. This...

The highest leverage point for effective meetings is preparing with self inquiry. Before saying something, we can ask ourselves about who this is serving, what needs it serves to say it, if there is a request we want to make, how to make the request actionable, and more. If more people at meetings do this, it can reduce the overall number of tangents we experience at meetings.

When someone stimulates your pain, you may want them to express care and empathy for your experience. If they're unwilling, you may resent it. You may forget the power of many strategies to meet a need, and you lose your agency. This can lead to reactive habits in you -- such as pleading, demanding, or attacking. Here are reasons you may not be getting an apology or empathy, and what options...

Here are some questions to support you in exploring your connection to life, your life purpose. Here we briefly touch upon what blocks you, your gratitude, strengths, passions, and what you are committed to.

Here's guidance on how to approach your inner experience when triggered or stuck in a distressing life experience. Self-Compassion in life can be experienced as: "There is room for life experience in me. There is an open space for ‘what is’ to be fully present in my inner experience". This exercise is more about tracing your felt experience than verbalizing it.

Here are 14 more key differentiations that are not, at time of publishing this, on the CNVC key differentiations list. They can be used to support people who are on the path of learning and integrating NVC in making sense of their own understanding of their journey and where they are within it. And it can be used to support people who share NVC with others in offering brief information in...

Use this exercise to identify what state you're in at any moment, and as an exercise to grow capacity for self-awareness and self-compassion. Identify what happened, thoughts, sensations, feelings, longings, etc. Includes a table that outlines three states of being: Protective/Defensive, Vulnerability, Essence.

As we head towards impending collapse the relative ease, comfort and freedom of the global north will be harder to maintain. Because of growing anxiety including from people with systemic power, we can anticipate increasing attempts at authoritarian control over the population. We can see what's occurring now as dry run practice for what's coming soon. What may help us: finding choice, knowing...

While so many of us know how close we are to the edge of global catastrophe and want change, what makes the existing global system continue to function with our ongoing participation? Read on for more on the challenges and path towards learning to steward life and all the resources of this one planet for the benefit of all.

Sitting with not knowing is an NVC skill because its the opposite of reactivity. In our haste to find relief from the discomfort of not knowing, we often become defensive, jump to conclusions, and blame and criticize others. Sitting with not knowing requires us to suspend our distrust, tolerate fear and uncertainty - creating space within us. NVC provides a way forward to enter into a space of...

Trainer Tip: When we "protect" ourselves by not asking for what we want, we block ourselves from getting our needs met. From here, disappointment and resentment can build -- especially if this is a pattern. Instead, notice when you're tempted to do this, and be honest and upfront about what you want to improve the quality of your relationships.

Human health is connected to health of ecosystems and other societies. Our wellness and liberation is found in our interconnection, kinship, reverence for life, and solidarity. Solidarity erodes through narratives, practices and policies that separate us from each other -- and this impacts societal functioning. The breakdown creates conditions for pandemic, racism, police brutality,...