What is it that we are taught we can’t have, and what is it that we are encouraged to pursue instead? This guide could help you see through what's hidden behind the curtain of our societal conditioning.

"All humans share the same needs" -- tragically, this idea can hide the reality that some people with less power in society have needs that go unmet to a greater extent, much longer, and with more dire consequences. Often, when the marginalized bring up experiences related to their membership in a certain group, their pain isn't acknowledged, and focus shifts to the listener's discomfort. The...

We can ask for what we want but if we repeatedly don’t get it from one source, it's our responsibility to find a new way to get it. We don’t honor our relationships when we insist that people who are unavailable or unwilling to support us meet our needs. Read on for related a parable about a woman persistently asking to get milk from a hardware store.

Trainer Tip: We feel our freedom when we are willing to look at others’ needs and our own, evaluate all of them and work toward valuing everyone’s needs. Take the time to demonstrate that you value everyone’s needs as much as your own today.

CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan shares a tip on holding a group's needs while empathizing with a single person in the group.

Unless we change our collective ways on the planet, we will one day exceed the earth’s carrying capacity. We can only address the planet's very real limits of physical resources at the level of social organization. To operate empathically is to adjust our collective social order and patterns so that resources are more widely available and everyone's needs are met no matter what their output,...

Confidence, flexibility, creativity and equanimity may become more possible when you would like someone to meet a particular need, can trust that you can meet that need with someone else, and can accept a “no” to your requests. You can allow grief or disappointment to arise, and naturally turn towards a relationship in which those needs can be met. In some cases this may lead to the dissolution...

Have you ever found yourself passing judgment on a co-worker's seemingly disorganized desk? Mary Mackenzie's experience sheds light on the fact that she and her colleague with the "messy desk" shared a common need for order. Recognizing that our needs align can lead to a softening of judgments, creating space for connection, understanding, and harmony.

One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are Universal Human Needs as the deeper motivators. And one of the key distinctions in NVC is that between Needs and Strategies. Try Alan Seid's exercise called "Peeling the Layers of the Onion, " a process for uncovering these needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or...

Eric Bowers explains how needs and strategies correlate to different brain hemispheres, and how relaxing into our needs opens us to greater possibilities.

Trainer Tip: Find your deepest need. Then notice when you do things, or have done things, that keep you from meeting your most important need. And then take conscious action that is in alignment with the need you want to meet.

CNVC Certified Trainer Lore Baur shares how, as a teacher, the classroom is a laboratory for learning NVC and incorporating the NVC consciousness into the classroom. Topics discussed include empathy, permission to educate, protective use of force, corrective action, choice & options and re-do.

Within the pandemic, limitations of our market economies are more visible. Extreme need is exposed when the economy is collapsing and so many people are without jobs. We can now see how it’s possible to direct resources where they are most needed, solely out of care and interconnection. This is a call to explore a more viable way of living, that centers relationship over transaction.

This trainer tip suggests ways to transform blame in to personal power. He suggests having multiple sources of support and multiple pathways to achieving the outcome you want, to allow more room to hear a "no". Read on for more.

We can create processes that encourage resources (particularly money) to flow to where they are most needed. Engaging in "money piles" is one new way that can refocus conversations on real, practical problems to solve -- rather than ideological or abstract discussions about who "earned", "deserved", worked "harder", or merits more. It can tilt conversations based on transaction and obligation...

These downloadable cards are graciously offered to help busy parents who want more time and less struggle.

Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true...

Trainer tip: The phrase “tragic expressions of unmet needs” is used to convey how often we do things that aren’t likely to meet our needs. It’s not bad, it’s tragic -- because it won’t help us meet our needs. Acknowledging this, we can then consider a different approach that's more likely to lead to satisfying results. Read on for three examples of where this may apply in your life.

Trainer Tip: You may find yourself assessing the relationship with someone just based on how they feel. Check in with yourself: How do you feel and what needs of yours are met when you spend time with someone? Consider whether this relationship is working for you. If it isn’t, be specific about which of your needs are unmet. Notice if you can do anything to help meet them.

Trainer Tip: We all have different ways to meet our need for rest. It's important to notice when you need that time. You might know you need rest when you find yourself snapping at people on the phone, when you snap at your cat, or when you ignore your partner. Rather than behave in ways that you might regret, consider doing something that will help you meet your need for rest. Everyone in your...