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What we refer to as "selfishness" is action taken without concern for the impact or cost of that action. Self-responsibility, on the other hand, includes actively living from the truth of interdependence, care for your and others needs, thriving of all, and more. We can access clarity of self care when we have open flexibility, curiosity, and responsiveness. Read on for more on the indicators...

The purpose of setting boundaries is to prevent harm to yourself and others. In this video, Yvette Erasmus describes how and why exquisite self-care requires exquisite boundaries.

When someone's behavior costs us, we may attempt to negotiate as much as possible. After some rounds of this, if there's no change we may reach a tolerance limit. So we may set a boundary for self care and clarity about what's unworkable. But depending on intentions and the way its said, this may or may not be a punishment to get even. Here, clarity about intentions, feelings, needs, actions...

CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan explains how naturalizing NVC language involves self care and begins with accepting what is true in the moment.

The purpose of boundaries is to prevent harm to yourself and others. You decide what you are available for and what you are not. Boundaries are a clear expression of limits that keep your heart open no matter what.

Jim and Jori share their work integrating Martin Seligman's work on Positive Psychology with Nonviolent Communication in a system they call REMAP, focusing on relationships, engagement, meaning, accomplishment and positivity.

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Practice Exercise

5 - 7 minutes

Anger is neither good nor bad. When you don't foresee it or you haven't cultivated a relationship to anger, you may behave from it and hurt yourself and others. There are three reasons anger may rise: primitive anger, resistance, and lack of resources. For practicing with these last two types of anger, we'll look at four practices: cultivate awareness, pause and expand, self-care and planning,...

There are ways to reduce obstacles to setting boundaries. Notice unconscious ways you sacrifice yourself in order to avoid boundary setting. List of signs that a life-serving boundary is needed, but you're denying this. Realizing you consistently abandoned your needs may require time to process and mourn before you can set boundaries consistently. With practice, you can recognize boundaries...

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: We all have different ways to meet our need for rest. It's important to notice when you need that time. You might know you need rest when you find yourself snapping at people on the phone, when you snap at your cat, or when you ignore your partner. Rather than behave in ways that you might regret, consider doing something that will help you meet your need for rest. Everyone in your...

Jori and Jim Manske explore strengthening your empathy "muscle" for your own well being. Empathy can be a means to strengthen your own resilience, as well as being present for another person.

Here are 14 more key differentiations that are not, at time of publishing this, on the CNVC key differentiations list. They can be used to support people who are on the path of learning and integrating NVC in making sense of their own understanding of their journey and where they are within it. And it can be used to support people who share NVC with others in offering brief information in...

Do you just keep going with a task, even if your body is screaming for a pause? Maybe you leave tasks incomplete because you can't finish them the way you want? Do you not even attempt some tasks because you know that you won't be able to do them perfectly? In short, are you a perfectionist? In this Life Hack, we look at 5 tips to help any recovering perfectionists.

Quite a few of us find the darker winter months emotionally tricky. If you're one of those sorts of people, here are three NVC-oriented tips to help you through to spring!

This sheet lists and describes 13 life serving strategies, such as: Time out, disengage, honesty check, and engaging in a working recovery plan. Read on for more.

Trainer Tip: On a scale of 1 to 10, how is your emotional bank account? If it’s lower than you like, consider what you can do right now to bring it closer to balance. Everyone in your life, and most especially you, will benefit from this. Even 15 mins of empathy may nourish you with accompaniment and perspective, even when the issues or circumstances in your life are the same.

As you witness injustices in the world, tension, anger, hopelessness, despair and more, may rise up in you. These feelings may lead to reactive thinking that doesn't contribute to healing nor wise action. Mourning is a universal need. If your culture pushed away grief and its emotional expression, you may have habits that block your access to the aliveness of grief. Read on for ways to give...

Physical distancing is opportunity to creatively to meet your needs in new ways. In this containment, with very few cues from others and the environment you now have a rare opportunity with less external distraction to rethink what's truly supportive -- and make significant changes to the less noticable habits of mind, standards and "should's". Applying questions and noticing certain symptoms...

Emotional regulation is the consistent capacity to fully experience one’s feelings, particularly when they are intense and/or painful. Here are 36 practices that help with emotional regulation that can be done alone or with others. Read on for more.

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Article

3 - 5 minutes

One clue we have trauma is when we respond in a way we don't want (eg. being reactive, self sabotaging, etc). Even when we have high level NVC skills our trauma-related mechanisms can activate, and we can lose access to well honed NVC skills. Read on for approaches that involve healing trauma, and approaches that involve managing the effects of trauma and preventing additional trauma.

In healing reactivity try identifying your most common complaints, wishes, or requests. Or when you tend to defend, justify, get angry, or protect. Find the tender needs. You can recall when you experienced deep nourishment of that need. Several times a week nourish your tender needs. Be clear about the strategy to address needs by answering key questions. Read on for more.