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NVC Resources on Judgment


Keep It Real, Warts and All

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
Our craving for love, acceptance, and approval can lead us to show only parts of ourselves and hide others. This lack of authenticity breeds disconnection and mistrust, leading to those very needs not being met. Once I accept myself, being authentic is easier. And then people in my life can love me for who I really am, warts and all.

Taking the First Step

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
Trainer Tip: If you're doing personal growth work, and changing your behaviors, you may find yourself wanting others to join your efforts with similar levels of enthusiasm. When they don't do so, you may feel frustrated and place judgments on them, thinking they aren't as caring. You'll be less likely to feel disappointed in people if you remind yourself that when you do personal growth work,...

Mediating with a Group

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: People struggle to come to agreement when they don’t feel heard. So as a mediator, facilitate the process by asking all parties to reflect the essence of what's important to other parties. This is critical. Once everyone is confident that their needs have been heard, you'll notice the energy in the room relaxing. Then you can brainstorm strategies that will value everyone’s needs,...

Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

Learning Tool • 3 pages • 
Learning Tool
3 pages
NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.

Differentiating Between Feelings And Faux Feelings

Learning Tool • N/A • 
Learning Tool
N/A
This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 24. Shine a Light on Your Shadow: Projection Detection and Reclaiming Disowned Parts

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
How do you know when you’re projecting disowned parts or replaying old relationship dynamics? It’s hard to know for sure, but if you find yourself upset or shutting down and unable to have a dialogue in which you can speak clearly about your feelings and needs and empathize with the other’s feelings and needs, there is likely a projection. The stronger your reaction, the more likely you are...

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 13. The Eight Most Powerful Things You Can Do to Build an Inspiring Relationship

Trainer Tip • 4 - 6 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
4 - 6 minutes
What are the most powerful things I can do to build an inspired relationship? I answered the question with romantic relationships in mind; however, I believe the answer below applies to all important relationships.

Street NVC: Bringing Your NVC Practice into Everyday Life! (4 Session Course)

Audio • 3 - 4 hours • 
Audio
3 - 4 hours
Listen to CNVC Certified Trainer Dian Killian show you how to easily step into the mindset of an NVC practice—the spirit of connection and collaboration—that will support you in authentically connecting with others.

Living the Fullness of Life (9 Session Course)

Video • 14-18 hours • 
Video
14-18 hours
How do we live each and every day from the “living energy of needs” – with the unimpeded fullness of life’s energies flowing through us, regardless of the conflicts or life circumstances we may be experiencing? Through developing deep self-compassion. How can we experience our inner world from a place of utter and total compassion? When we practice compassionate self-care, we create an inner...

Taking 100% Responsibility for Every Relationship (4 Session Course)

Audio • 4 - 6 hours • 
Audio
4 - 6 hours
Taking 100% Responsibility offers a powerful antidote to the all-too-common dynamic of blaming that leaves you in the victim position and unable to have the relationship you want. Miki invites you to assume a stance of leadership while holding full care for both parties’ needs. No longer will you need to wait for the other person to change, nor will you need to give up your needs to reach...

Embracing Nonviolence (4 Session Course)

Audio • 4 - 6 hours • 
Audio
4 - 6 hours
The heart of the practice of nonviolence is a commitment to live through the powerful combination of compassion, fierceness, and courage, with an uncompromising willingness to stand for truth. Join Miki Kashtan for this exciting and informative course to learn how to practically embrace nonviolence.

Expressing Ourselves Honestly

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities to be honest holding the intention to connect with people. If you do this with the elements of brevity, directness, and respect, you can increase your chances of being heard. If they don't like your honesty, consider switching to empathizing with them by listening to their feelings and needs.

Using Anger to Serve Life

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Sometimes we need to empathize with a person before he can hear our anger. Consider that all anger is an expression of an unmet need. If we focus on the need, rather than the actions, we are more likely to connect compassionately with other people. Be aware of opportunities to empathize with someone’s anger today.

Connection, Connection, Connection

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes
Trainer tip: Do you get into “right fights”? You know you’re in one when you’re arguing with somebody in order to be right or because you want to win. What needs do I hope to meet from winning or being right? Notice if you enter into a right fight today and shift your focus to your needs and connecting with the other person's needs.

A Focus on Needs

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
There are endless ways to meet our needs. Conflict occurs when we argue over strategies. When we actively value everyone’s needs, we foster openness and deeper connection in our relationships. Today look for opportunities to focus on needs in order to resolve an issue with at least one person.

VIVENCIA: The Art of Empathic Intelligence (8 Session Course)

Audio • 9 hours, 54 minutes • 
Audio
9 hours, 54 minutes
In this telecourse recording, you'll learn to differentiate between cerebral empathy and intuitive empathic listening. Awaken your sensitivity towards body sensations and inner feelings to recognize the clear inner clues to your empathic connection.

Empathizing with Someone Who is Silent

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: When someone is unresponsive it can be an opportunity to bring in more presence and connection through empathy. They may be worried that if they speak they'll say something they'll regret. Or they may want to know that their needs matters as much as yours. They may also need more space to clarify their thoughts.

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 7. Talk about Conflict When You’re Not in Conflict

Trainer Tip • 4 - 6 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
4 - 6 minutes
Conflict is a normal and natural part of life. To varying degrees, it happens whenever two or more people consistently spend time together. Resolving conflict effectively and peacefully, in a way in which all parties feel respected and valued, does not feel natural for those of us who grew up with punitive, adversarial, or avoidant approaches to conflict. Eric offers some tips for approaching...

Self Empathy/Regulation Process

Practice Exercise • 30 minutes • 
Practice Exercise
30 minutes
Building your body and mind awareness can help you better regulate/calm your emotions. Regular self-empathy will help you better regulate your emotions as well as increase your body and mind awareness. If you are not aware of amygdala activation(fight/flight/freeze response), you will react instead of responding with choice. Use this eight step process to develop your self empathy/regulation...