Robert Gonzales Training Legacy

Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as she examines the nature of guilt and how apologizing often fails to connect us to our needs.

These downloadable cards are graciously offered to help busy parents who want more time and less struggle.

Listen to this audio to learn the value of focusing on needs in an NVC model, either for the first time or as a refresher course. Living from a needs-consciousness creates abundance, clarity and choice. Using three examples from participants, Mary guides the group towards identifying and then connecting with the needs of both parties involved in each situation. It becomes clear very quickly that people choose different ways to support their needs; and many times they have the same needs in a given situation. When we understand this, we are able to create peace in our relationships and negotiations. “Everything someone does or says is an attempt to meet a need,” says CNVC Certified Trainer Mary Mackenzie. This simple statement is a foundational understanding in Nonviolent Communication; once you gain skills at living in a “needs-consciousness” you will literally change your life and your perception of the world, and improve all of your relationships.

In a Nonviolent Communication model, we believe that everything someone does or says is an attempt to meet a need. That means that all actions or words are in service to a deep internal need. The following list of needs is neither exhaustive nor definitive.

Mary Mackenzie, an internationally renowned CNVC Certified Trainer, demonstrates two exercises that will help you learn fast “on the run” self-empathy techniques. The video includes practical techniques to guide you toward noticing your physical sensations, feelings and needs.

Ask the Trainer: "A participant in our beginners' NVC practice group asked the co-facilitators if there was a confidentiality agreement that was typically used in NVC practice groups?"

Ask the Trainer: "I'm practicing with 'transforming the pain of unmet needs into the beauty of the need.' In identifying my unmet needs, I come up with 'fairness.' However, fairness isn't on the needs list! I'm wondering what needs might be underneath 'fairness.'"

Ask the Trainer: "I've been feeling frustrated and angry quite a bit lately over very simple things. Can you help me get to the root of my hidden needs?"

Ask the Trainer: "Could you share a list of types of requests, with examples of each and a possible strategy for formulating requests in conversation?"

Ask the Trainer: "I have the understanding that the unconscious is vast compared to conscious mind. When I state 'needs' how well can I depend on there being something beneath my awareness that is actually the motivation?"