Robert Gonzales Training Legacy

Trainer Tip: "I often hear people say that someone did something because of a need for control. Control is actually a strategy that is often confused with a need."

Trainer Tip: "Sometimes we are dissatisfied in our primary relationship, yet the thought of making a change is scary, so we stay in it. Sometimes we think we're afraid to learn the truth, so we don't ask direct questions."

Trainer Tip: Have you ever noticed how often we back up when we find ourselves in a conflict? Or how much we try to pull away when someone is angry or in emotional pain?

Trainer Tip: The ways that we interact with our children shape the way they will interact in their world. How do your actions model compassion, tolerance, and love for your children?

Trainer Tip: Accepting our true feelings, needs and values can lead us to a more compassionate life. Are you being true to yourself?

Trainer Tip: Anger can be an opportunity to hear the "Please" behind the words and create a path to resolve conflicts compassionately.

Ask the Trainer: "Recently, I was sitting in my weekly practice group trying to connect to my reasons for wanting to give empathy to a particular person. She was telling us about some painful feeling she was having, but was not connecting to her needs."

Trainer Tip: When I have conflict in my life with someone, especially recurring conflict, I like to find out what the conflict is showing me about myself.

The human needs that we all share are the foundation of the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) process because it is in connecting to needs that we find inner freedom, empowerment and compassion.

In a recent vacation in a Mexican village, I was surprised to find myself in the midst of a community in mourning. Two days before I came, a 21-year-old girl had died in a car accident. Everyone in the town knew her and was openly affected by her death.