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How to Stay Calm During a Pandemic (COVID-19)

Article •  5-8 minutes • 
All Skill Levels
Article
5-8 minutes

As social beings we thrive with social contact and community. Thus, with the social isolation and a loss of routine that is happening in the COVD-19 pandemic, there are three critical areas to keep in mind everyday: emotional-physiological regulation, self-empathy for fear and anxiety, and meaningful engagement. 


Trauma and Sanctuary

Article •  3 - 5 minutes • 
All Skill Levels
Article
3 - 5 minutes

One clue we have trauma is when we respond in a way we don't want (eg. being reactive, self sabotaging, etc). Even when we have high level NVC skills our trauma-related mechanisms can activate, and we can lose access to well honed NVC skills. Read on for approaches that involve healing trauma, and approaches that involve managing the effects of trauma and preventing additional trauma.


Changing Our Habitual Approach to Change

Article •  4 - 6 minutes • 
Introductory Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes

Most of us subject ourselves to so many painful mental jabs and they seldom stimulate helpful change. We can be like a frustrated animal trainer repeatedly whipping an animal, without ever helping the animal to understand what behavior is wanted or offering encouragement. Instead, punishing thoughts can be stepping stones to awareness. We can focus on sensing what we're really aspiring to. This is more likely to eventually produce sustainable change that'll serve us better.


Shifting the Way We Do Things

Article •  3 - 5 minutes • 
Introductory Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes

The way we talk to one another, and think about or react to our lives, may seem "normal" but eventually, this may reach a point where we realize something isn't working, and we make adjustments. But often the suffering continues if we aren't addressing root causes. In studying NVC we can become more aware of what we are doing and its effects -- plus imagine and implement alternatives that lead to greater fulfillment for self and others.


Self Responsibility

Article •  6 - 9 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
6 - 9 minutes

Being self-responsible is about empowerment — via noticing what is potentially in our locus of control, getting to know ourselves better, looking at our own role in how we experience life, and making conscious choices to act within our own power. This requires us to be mindful in relating our stories to our needs. Read on for more on this, and the various pifalls within thinking about self responsibility.


Moving Beyond Needs as Met or Unmet

Article •  5 - 8 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes

Sometimes when we regard needs as something that could be met or unmet by another person or by a situation we unconsciously hold the belief that our needs should be met. Or we end up holding blame or implying wrongdoing. People are more likely to resist a request made from this stance. Instead, here are practices to increasingly losen any remaining attachment or demand energy -- and open our hearts to ourselves and others while we make requests.


Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before Important Conversations

Article •  5 - 8 minutes • 
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes

What's my intention? What needs am I trying to meet? What do I want the other person to know or understand? How can I say it in a way they are most likely to hear? These are four questions we can use in preparation for an important conversation. Read on for more on this, plus four accompanying practices.


Transformative Dialogue

Article •  N/A • 
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
N/A

The less blame and criticism, the easier it is for others to hear us. From this perspective, it’s in our best interest to come from curiosity and care. This way differences can bring us together and help us know one another. The more mutual understanding, the easier it is to work together and find creative solutions. Read on for more on this, with a story about how a black man inspired 200 members of the KKK to leave the organization.


How to Set Boundaries Early and Often

Article •  5-8 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5-8 minutes

Using the example of being met with chronic lateness, here are three steps to setting boundaries early in a dating situation or relationship.


Emergency Interventions for Escalating Arguments

Article •  2-3 minutes • 
Beginner Skill Level
Article
2-3 minutes

Mid-conversation you may find yourself sliding into defending, shutting down, attacking, or blaming. Here's a list of possible emergency interventions that can help slow down escalation and return you to connection.


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