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  • 5

    Days

  • 8

    Hrs

  • 48

    Mins

Practice Exercise

4 - 6 minutes

9/19/2022

Marriage can be seen as a limit on freedom. Ideas of compromise collude with this view. Instead, notice when your "yes" to your partner is laden with obligation, duty, guilt, fear, or an attempt to win love or approval, and how it's not a truly free "yes". True freedom is different from compulsion, and doesn't conflict with other needs. When have you experienced true freedom? What conditions support your access to freedom?

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Learning Tool

1 - 2 minutes

1/2010

This single-page handout illustrates the steps to translating habitual judgments and actions into observations, feelings, needs, and requests (OFNR).

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Ever have a hard time saying "no" to someone, or feel obligated to say yes? Here's an exercise that can help you notice where you are placing yourself as someone who "has to" say yes; the needs in the other person making the request; what you want to say "yes" to (regarding your needs and theirs) by saying "no"; what prevents you from saying "yes"; plus your request and how you might express it.

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Conflict occurs when disagreements undermine the sense of trust and safety in family, workplace, or community. Shantigarbha shares nine tips for addressing, and even transforming conflict.

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Trainer tip: NVC focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will -- plus avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. For today, focus on making observations without moralistic judgment in at least two of your interactions.

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When someone stimulates your pain, you may want them to express care and empathy for your experience. If they're unwilling, you may resent it. You may forget the power of many strategies to meet a need, and you lose your agency. This can lead to reactive habits in you -- such as pleading, demanding, or attacking. Here are reasons you may not be getting an apology or empathy, and what options you have in moving forward.

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While so many of us know how close we are to the edge of global catastrophe and want change, what makes the existing global system continue to function with our ongoing participation? Read on for more on the challenges and path towards learning to steward life and all the resources of this one planet for the benefit of all.

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As human beings, our inherent goodness makes most of us believe in equality and yet sometimes our conviction in this same 'goodness' may make us blind to the reality of our own behavior. We are so convinced about the innocence of our intention that we seize to look at the impact of our behavior and thus our unconscious biases often go unexamined and unchallenged. Diversity, equity and inclusion work will only be of lip-service until we are willing to look at our own unconscious biases. Listen as Anisha Pandya encourages you to look at the possibility of how our self-awareness is so limited and one of the ways of expanding that awareness is by moving beyond our intention, looking at the impact of our behavior and remaining open to feedback.

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Conflict is normal and natural and yet we are still often surprised by it and unprepared to deal with it. You will come away from this session with the tools for creating simple agreements with your group about what to do when conflict arises.

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A challenge is an expansion of making a clear, positive doable request — and, when given, the person feels deeply seen by the challenger. A challenge isn't just about getting someone to take action on something important to them; it's a fierce form of empathy that supports people in connecting with their life force, and integrates it into their lives with action. A real challenge is tied to the receiver's goals, passions and dreams -- and expands their potential.

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