It can be challenging to tell people that you don’t like a certain behaviour or action of theirs. Even with supportive intentions and compassionate language your message might be difficult for someone to receive. Of course, we are not responsible for others’ reactions, but we are responsible to care about each other, and there are effective ways to express ourselves with more care.
If you dread family gatherings because of family tensions, you can find ways to excavate through piles of hardened judgments and hopelessness, build on your inner strength, and engage with family conflicts with open-hearted curiosity, greater presence, and connecting with what really matters to everyone.
Sitting with uncertainty can be very uncomfortable and evoke anxiety. Or it can be a practice that brings in the curiosity and inner spaciousness that allows for creative solutions to emerge, and that help us to relax our attachment to outcomes. Here's a closer look...
Trainer tip: The phrase “tragic expressions of unmet needs” is used to convey how often we do things that aren’t likely to meet our needs. It’s not bad, it’s tragic -- because it won’t help us meet our needs. Acknowledging this, we can then consider a different approach that's more likely to lead to satisfying results. Read on for three examples of where this may apply in your life.
Interested in bringing NVC consciousness to your workplace, but want to use a natural and conversational way of speaking? Listen in as Jeff describes three specific skills you can apply immediately: #1: How to express your understanding of a co-worker’s needs; #2: How to apply the three dimensions of needs in a business setting; and #3: How to make a Symbiotic Request that acknowledges holding multiple needs.
Trainer Tip: Today, identify the facts, without adding your ideas about why people behave in certain ways. Then consider connecting with the person about what was going on with them. You will find that the more you observe life without judgment and evaluation, the more open you will be to hearing and connecting with other people.
After acknowledging the impact others have on us, you can ask yourself "What am I telling myself?" and "If that’s true, what am I afraid will happen?". The more present, gentle and compassionate you can be with the underlying feelings, the faster you can move through your trigger. Then you're more likely to respond in ways that feel, kind, responsible, intelligent and aligned for you.
Join Miki as she covers a lot of territory, defining leadership, helping us lead when we're not in the leadership chair, showing us how to have power in every moment and engage our fear instead of let it run us. Get some powerful leadership tools you can put to use today.
Trainer tip: When we express moralistic judgments we are implying that other people are wrong or bad because they don’t act in ways that are in harmony with our values. Judging the situation or people can create distance and hurt. Instead, we can express our needs and how we're affected, bringing greater connection and healing. Today, notice how often you judge, and how you feel when you judge.