Browse the NVC Library

Trainer Tip: NVC asks us to be aware of our needs and discomfort is evidence of an unment need. However focusing on ourselves when we're uncomfortable isn't always the best choice.

When we have privilege, we can have access to resources resulting from legal or social norms related to membership in a group -- independent of any (in)action, awareness of the disparity, the potential benefits to us, or the costs to others. Unhelpful ways of engaging with privilege are: denial/invisibility, guilt/shame, defensiveness, and entitlement. Helpful ways of engaging are: owning privilege, learning about privilege, opening to feedback, and stewarding privilege for benefit of all. To be helpful we need to engage with necessary (rather than unnecessary) discomfort.

Many of us blame other people for our feelings but our own state of needs is the true cause. In this powerful audio, Sylvia teaches you how to manage your emotions in challenging situations and demonstrates the process of Screaming in Giraffe.

The "inner jackal" is probably be better known as the "inner critic", that nagging voice of self-sabotage that undermines our confidence. It's a voice that won't go away in a hurry! So here are our four top tips for getting into positive communication with it.

In this practice group class, certified CNVC trainers Jim and Jori Manske are facilitating the exploration of the topic of Mourning using the three modes of NVC: self-empathy, honesty and empathic presence. You'll learn how to accept a loss, let yourself feel the sadness and all the emotions, and allow yourself to grieve.

Trainer tip: People often presume why something happened before checking with the other person. Instead, if we were to name the facts of what happened through observation without adding in our own judgments or reasons why we think it happened, we can more easily open the possibility for deeper connection with the other person. Read on for more on making observations.

This exercise is most often the first activity in a beginning level workshop after the usual logistics/history/check-in. Penny Wassman experiences it as an opportunity for people to build connection with one another.

Here are some guidelines and agreements for creating empathy buddy sessions. Includes a list of blocks to empathy.

Here's an inspiring story of one citizen (the author) who faced a police officer and judge in court to contest a transit ticket... and inspired structural changes in the way one aspect of New York City transit operates. She inspires change with her application of empathy for self and others, acknowledgement, connecting requests -- and an inspiring vision of understanding, shared reality and living in a city where people have some trust in one another's intentions.

Without self-acceptance any attempt at growth and transformation, even while parenting, can easily become a path to self-judgments and another yardstick against which to measure ourselves as falling short. Instead, we can practice 1 minute a day or more, or while doing other tasks, to develop the self-compassion and self-acceptance needed to grow both new habits and our capacity to meet our children with calm and compassion.