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Bridget Belgrave, CNVC Certified Trainer from the United Kingdom, talks with an interviewer after he attends an NVC and Dance Floors workshop with her. The interviewer shares his reaction to the term "Nonviolent Communication."

In this compelling dialogue, veteran CNVC Certified Trainers, Susan Skye and Mary Mackenzie, discuss the intrinsic needs present in addictive behaviors, and how Nonviolent Communication aligns with the 12-step programs’ process for treating addiction.

Trainer Tip: What is motivating your (in)actions? Are you doing something in the name of supporting deeper heartfelt needs, free of judgement or blame? Or are you bringing in consequences based on viewing the other person as having "bad behaviour"?

To express opposition without stimulating distress, stop judging and look for ways to honor, understand, and have compassion for others. You can do this by finding a point of agreement. For example, you can agree with part of what they said. Or if you completely disagree, you can express what greater understanding, inspiration, appreciation or empathy you have in response to what they're saying. Read on for more on this, plus, ten sentence stems to get you started.

Trainer Tip: You may find yourself assessing the relationship with someone just based on how they feel. Check in with yourself: How do you feel and what needs of yours are met when you spend time with someone? Consider whether this relationship is working for you. If it isn’t, be specific about which of your needs are unmet. Notice if you can do anything to help meet them.

An addiction to something (eg. opioids, fats, sugars, salts, cigarettes, coffee, alcohol, etc.) or a compulsion (eg. gambling, shopping, working, sex or love addictions) is often an unconscious attempt to soothe trauma - fear, loneliness and shame that's frozen in unconscious memory. The addiction or compulsion is a substitute for what we really need. It is an endless craving that's never enough. Read on for more.

One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are Universal Human Needs as the deeper motivators. And one of the key distinctions in NVC is that between Needs and Strategies. Try Alan Seid's exercise called  "Peeling the Layers of the Onion, " a process for uncovering these needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling.

Ask the Trainer: How do I respond to people who believe that consequences are necessary to change behavior?

Join Susan Skye as she guides you to experience profound transformation of the inner jackal messages resulting from childhood trauma. Discover how the limbic system of the brain works, and transform jackal messages stored there with compassionate connection.

Learn how Nonviolent Communication (NVC) can improve the quality of your personal and professional relationships, one interaction at a time.