Sitting with not knowing is an NVC skill because its the opposite of reactivity. In our haste to find relief from the discomfort of not knowing, we often become defensive, jump to conclusions, and blame and criticize others. Sitting with not knowing requires us to suspend our distrust, tolerate fear and uncertainty - creating space within us. NVC provides a way forward to enter into a space of wonder, possibility, and creativity.

This single-page handout illustrates the steps to translating habitual judgements and actions into OFNR.

When you have intrusive thoughts about yourself and feel ‘crummy,’ Ike recommends using the Chooser / Educator map as a guide to lead you out of the primitive part of your brain and back to your prefrontal cortex. Both the Chooser and the Educator want to contribute to your well being, but in different ways. This map facilitates having a positive conversation with them.

Most of us subject ourselves to so many painful mental jabs and they seldom stimulate helpful change. We can be like a frustrated animal trainer repeatedly whipping an animal, without ever helping the animal to understand what behavior is wanted or offering encouragement. Instead, punishing thoughts can be stepping stones to awareness. We can focus on sensing what we're really aspiring to. This is more likely to eventually produce sustainable change that'll serve us better.

In this Life Hack, we take a closer look at 'values-based' feedback and give you 7 practical tips that will help you provide useful feedback.

We sometimes forget our intention to stay fully present and awake, it happens to all of us. Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as she explores this forgetting, how we hold it and what we can do about it.

Trainer Tip: NVC-based social change naturally emerges from “a certain kind of spirituality”, a quality of spiritual clarity. Intuitions and impulses arising from spiritual clarity are more likely to support sustainable systems. Read on for how to bring more of this in, and ways to transform your complaint into commitment.

Miki explains how teachers and administrators can become more effective in relating to themselves, other faculty and staff, and they can contribute more to students' ability to feel connected and energized. Nonviolent Communication provides specific tools to empower ourselves and others to live more in line with our values and deeper needs.

When we are transparent about our concerns, brainstorm solutions together, and look towards making a decision with the other person, we can increase understanding, partnership, and mutual support. This invites people to work on the same issue from the same direction, collaboratively seek solutions, and tap a deeper wisdom. In the end, the future survival of our species depends on this kind of active interdependence.

When it comes to how you're achieving your goals, notice what you value. Is achievement coming at others' expense? Where is your sense of worth and validation derived from? Do other people in some way set the bar that you strive to surpass? Without comparing to other people, what does success mean to you? Read on for a related story.