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Catch Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics Early

Article • 4-6 minutes • 05/2019
Advanced Skill Level
Article
4-6 minutes
05/2019

Little negative impacts can become big when left unattended. Watch for things like using a sharp tone, choosing not to share something, going along with something when you don’t really want to, trying to convince your partner, impulsively turning away, shrinking, losing access to parts of yourself, hiding, daydreaming about a different life, and judgmental thoughts. Instead, shift the dynamic: take responsibility, provide empathy, and commit to change.


Persisting vs. Demanding

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 12/21/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
12/21/2005

Trainer Tip: Persisting without demanding is the art of what Marshall Rosenberg fondly called "Dogging for our needs." We can learn to not give up on our needs and at the same time, refrain from demanding they be met.


On Love and Empathy

Trainer Tip • 5 minutes • Circa 2007
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
5 minutes
Circa 2007

Ask the Trainer: Is there any difference between the concept or experience of "love" and that of "empathy?"


Distinguishing Universal Needs from Strategies

Trainer Tip • 10 - 15 minutes • 10/15/2020
All Skill Levels
Trainer Tip
10 - 15 minutes
10/15/2020

In this book excerpt, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between universal needs and strategies.


Six Ways to Check If An Allied Intervention Is Welcome

Article • 2 - 3 minutes • 7/2019
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
2 - 3 minutes
7/2019

If we are in the dominant group, intervening to prevent violence or an "ouch" is a way to ally with marginalized folks. We can intervene to meet their needs, rather than our own. In other words, we can intervene without putting our experience at center stage. To that end, here are six ways to ask if an intervention is welcome.


Pain Lasers and Love Lasers

Article • 5 - 7 minutes • 8/2016
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 7 minutes
8/2016

In lasers, light bounces between the mirrors, with each pass the light grows more intense. Our minds work similarly. Because of the "mirror" effect, where we can react to our reactions to our reactions to our reactions (and so on), changing our thought pattern even modestly at every level of reaction, can dramatically affect our ultimate experience.  Usually the greatest amplifiers are the ones we notice the least.  Learn what to notice -- to amplify more love rather than pain.


Punitive Use of Force

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005

Trainer Tip: What is motivating your (in)actions? Are you doing something in the name of supporting deeper heartfelt needs, free of judgement or blame? Or are you bringing in consequences based on viewing the other person as having "bad behaviour"?


Trauma and Sanctuary

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 11/2009
All Skill Levels
Article
3 - 5 minutes
11/2009

One clue we have trauma is when we respond in a way we don't want (eg. being reactive, self sabotaging, etc). Even when we have high level NVC skills our trauma-related mechanisms can activate, and we can lose access to well honed NVC skills. Read on for approaches that involve healing trauma, and approaches that involve managing the effects of trauma and preventing additional trauma.


Marshall Rosenberg's Vision of Social Change

Article • 12 - 18 minutes • 12/2017
All Skill Levels
Article
12 - 18 minutes
12/2017

What could be, more often than not, overlooked when we think about or represent NVC or Marshall Rosenberg's work?  This article busts some commonly held ideas and approaches to NVC.  It challenges us to widen the lens of what it really means to be "life-serving", or speaking and hearing the "language of life".  And it also speaks to how thinking can deepen feeling and relatedness...


Experiencing Gratitude

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 04/15/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
04/15/2005

Trainer Tip: Do you ever think you’re taking life just a little too seriously? Many of us work hard trying to improve our outlook, our ability to communicate, and our lives. Sometimes we work so hard, we forget to enjoy life. So let’s make a pact to enjoy our day.


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