The Blame-Free State (Complete Course)

Intermediate Skill Level • Audio • 6 - 8 hours
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
6 - 8 hours

Blame can become a terrible habit – one that’s extremely costly both personally, socially and culturally. When you play The Blame Game there are usually only losers. Nobody wins, not really. Learn how to move out of blame into peace – whether it involves others, yourself or situations.

The first session of this course is available for all to listen to and enjoy.


Opening to Intimacy

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 2-3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 2-3 minutes
Trainer tip: Do you have behavioral patterns that block intimacy? When we are feeling our most vulnerable, we often want intimacy but also tend to keep it at bay. Acknowledge your need for intimacy, and find people you can trust to love you as you are.

Is Nonviolent Use of Force an Oxymoron?

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 37 - 56 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 37 - 56 minutes
What do we actually mean by “use of force” and what counts as such? Here's a template that will be unpacked in this article: "Use of force is consistent with nonviolence to the extent that we use the least amount of force possible, with the most love possible, aiming at (re)creating conditions for dialogue; that we make the choice using as much nonreactive discernment as possible, with as much support for the choice as possible, and while mourning not seeing another way to respond to a situation in which vital needs are at stake except to use force". Read on for more.

Responding to Unwanted Feedback from Peers

Intermediate Skill Level • Article • Read time: 6-9 minutes
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
Read time: 6-9 minutes
When someone offers continual unsoliticed feedback or advice, setting a boundary may not be easy if you care about how they might hear you. And if you don't set a boundary, you may eventually become resentful and say something you regret. Instead, here are six ways to respond, with varying degrees of effectiveness.

Connection, Connection, Connection

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 2-3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 2-3 minutes
Trainer tip: Do you get into “right fights”? You know you’re in one when you’re arguing with somebody in order to be right or because you want to win. What needs do I hope to meet from winning or being right? Notice if you enter into a right fight today and shift your focus to your needs and connecting with the other person's needs.

Nonviolence In The Face of Rape or Assault

All Skill Levels • Article • Read time: 1 - 2 minutes
All Skill Levels
Article
Read time: 1 - 2 minutes
Here's a brief anecdote showing how one woman was able transform a situation, where a man was about to assault or rape her. She responded in a creative way that lead them both to see each others' humanity -- navigating them both to safety. As part of her ingenuity he ended up spending the night in her house, in another room.

Connecting with Ourselves: An NVC Foundation for Inner Trust and Freedom

Beginner Skill Level • Article • Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Article
Read time: 4 - 6 minutes
True inner freedom arises from self-connection. Without self-connection, we're mostly acting from habits, and those habits do not necessarily attend to our own needs. Here's a practice you can explore in your daily life to deepen your relationship with yourself, and experience true choice and inner freedom.

Differentiating Needs from Strategies

Beginner Skill Level • Trainer Tip • Read time: 2-3 minutes
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
Read time: 2-3 minutes
Trainer tip: When we focus on needs further possibilities are more likely to open up. When we focus on a particular strategy, our world can feel scarce and conflicts can arise. Resolution comes when we value everyone’s needs and seek mutually satisfying solutions. We can ask for support towards this outcome.

Shifting the Way We Do Things

Introductory Skill Level • Article • Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
Introductory Skill Level
Article
Read time: 3 - 5 minutes
The way we talk to one another, and think about or react to our lives, may seem "normal" but eventually, this may reach a point where we realize something isn't working, and we make adjustments. But often the suffering continues if we aren't addressing root causes. In studying NVC we can become more aware of what we are doing and its effects -- plus imagine and implement alternatives that lead to greater fulfillment for self and others.

Working with Subtle Boundary Violations

Applied NVC • Article • Read time: 7-11 minutes
Applied NVC
Article
Read time: 7-11 minutes
Subtle boundary violations are more difficult to catch and name in the moment, than obvious boundary violations. Becoming more aware of these moments and finding the words to set a boundary are critical to supporting healthy relating long-term. Three categories of subtle boundary violations are (1.) lack of mutuality, (2.) voice tone and volume, and (3.) speaking for or about someone. Read on to learn more about all three.

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